#THANKSBUTNOTHANKS: MY ROOMMATES WENT ON VACATION AND ALL I GOT WERE THESE LAME PHOTOS

SO YOU MIGHT HAVE NOTICED I'VE NOT BLOGGED IN A WHILE. Why, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. It's because my idiot roommates up and moved out of our place and left the laptop shut. #RUDE #NOOPPOSABLETHUMBS

Well I THOUGHT they had moved out. Turns out they just went on "vacation," leaving me to fend for myself AND take care of our house all by myself. THE HOUSE DIDN'T BURN DOWN. THANKS FOR ASKING. #YOUREWELCOME

And to add insult to injury, they sent hordes of their unpleasant friends over here to "check on me." This means that a bunch of strangers came in here and harassed me and disturbed my naps. IT WAS AWFUL.

Then, -- THEN! -- they came home and gave me some "souvenirs" they picked up for me. PHOTOS OF UGLY-ASS CATS FROM ALL OF THEIR PORTS OF CALL. Since I got just about zero out of these photos, I've decided to spread the wealth and share them here on ye olde blog.

1. Croatia Cat:

More like crusty-eyed cat. This is the mangiest animal I've ever laid eyes on. And stupid, too: why is he turned AWAY FROM his food bowl? #PUTTHATCATOUTOFITSMISERY

2. Turkey Cat:

Hungry hungry hippo cat. Hey, Turkey, here's a little hint. Why don't you STOP CHOWING DOWN ON FOOD STRAIGHT OUT OF THE GRAVEL? Evan I have more self-respect than that. #FATSO

3. Greece Cat:

"Oh, I'm so beautiful even though I'm a mangy stray just because I sit in front of pretty views." More like OBSTRUCT pretty views! This cat is a waste of space on the old memory card. Disgusting. #POSER

4. Other Greece Cat:

YIKES. No wonder the roommates came home. I know I'm beautiful, but I'm like Cindy Crawford compared to these filthy animals. #BIGFOOT #TRIMYOUREARHAIROLDMAN

I can't tell if this one is hissing at something or just gagging at the thought of itself.

5. And finally, Italy Cat:

This one's the worst of all. First, you can see Allison in the reflection. Then, this cat's a lazy POS, just sitting in a windowsill like it has no place to go.  When I sit in windowsills, I make the most out of it and get the best view possible. #PASTA

#AMBITION #IMTHEBEST #SEXYBOD